Your kid earned $$$$
Your kid saved $$$$
Your kid wants to SPEND $$$$ ... Now what?
Friend - Let them spend until they go broke!*
* with two key suggestions
1 - Set Parental Guardrails
Decide what's important to you and establish those parameters upfront. Here are some examples to think through.
Electronics - if they buy the gadget, what screen time rules apply? Any restrictions on apps or in-app purchases?
Food - what can't they buy? If they buy 10 pounds of M&Ms, any rules on how much can be eaten and when?
Clothing - Are holes / distressed fabric ok? How about words or graphics? Any skin coverage requirements?
Transportation - If your teenager buys a car, do they pay for gas/insurance? Can they come and go as they wish? If your kid wants a dirt bike, any safety rules?
Weapons - What does your family permit or prohibit? How must they be safely stored when not in use?
These guardrails will likely evolve as your children mature. They may also vary by child, as each kid matures at different rates. What's important is that you set the rules, make the rules clear to your children, then let them play within the rules.
Once you've set the rules - get out of their way and let them play the game without interference. Resist changing the guardrails unnecessarily, and don't be surprised when your kid tries to outsmart you. That's what they do.
2 - Get Out of Their Way
Your kid wants to buy stuff they love, including things you DON'T love.
LET THEM BUY anything their spending account can afford, assuming it passes the parental guardrail test. Unless it's morally or physically dangerous - just say YES.
LET THEM GO BROKE because this is a major learning experience. If you don't give handouts, they'll be motivated to earn more or make different spending decisions next time.
For years, my son was OBSESSED with Pokemon cards. He bought into the hype that every packet could have one or more "super rare" cards. An aspiring YouTuber, he recorded himself opening the packets for others to see. He poured HUNDREDS of dollars (no joke) into his collection as recently as last year.
Finally, he paid $44 (including FedEx fees) to send in what he was sure was a valuable card to be graded and sealed into a protective case. He waited with great anticipation for it to be returned to him. He had plans to sell it for a profit and build a business off of finding and grading rare and interesting cards.
When this card came back a 2 (out of 10), it devastated him. He immediately and permanently lost interest in this hobby. The cards are in a heap in his closet, in the corners of his room, behind his bed, and under the bathroom sink. They've been stepped on, cut up, and peeled apart. He couldn't care less. At some point he may try to sell them on the used market, but he hasn't gone there yet.
I knew with every purchase his likelihood of disappointment was very high, and he'd regret not having the money available to buy something else later. It was, and he did. Repeatedly. But it was the right thing to do. He needed to explore his interests with his spending money and his time.
As a parent teaching my kids about money, standing back to let it happen was one of the hardest things ever. I promise you though - this is how they learn. Trial and error works. Setting them up (or allowing them to set themselves up) for safe failure is a power move.
I blogged about this dilemma a while back - take a peek. Saying yes does get easier with practice, for what it's worth. This doesn't mean you can't influence and discuss their desired spending (hint hint - set your family guardrails!!), but otherwise let how they want to spend their resources be your child's decision to make and live with. They worked hard for their spending money. So long as they stay within your established guardrails, let them enjoy it!
What spending guardrails have you set in your household?
Not sure how to introduce money concepts to your children? Check out this online course: Raising Wealthy Kids
Stephanie Brooke Lennon is the author of Family Bank Blueprint, GoldQuest, and What Would Water Do? Simple Strategies for Navigating Life's Obstacles. Her titles are available in Paperback and Kindle on Amazon.com. Follow Stephanie Brooke on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, Twitter, Amazon, and at BrookeLennon.com.
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